The term “Karen” has become a popular slang to describe someone—typically a middle-aged woman—who is perceived as entitled, demanding, and often exhibiting privileged and prejudiced behaviour. While the term can be controversial and potentially offensive, it raises important questions about self-awareness and social behaviour. This article explores how to identify such behaviour, provides a psychologist’s test for self-assessment, and offers advice on how to address and change these tendencies, supported by scientific research and expert insights.

The term “Karen” gained popularity as a meme on social media, used to describe individuals who act entitled, exhibit privilege, or demand to “speak to the manager” over minor inconveniences. It often implies a lack of empathy and awareness of one’s own social privileges (Garcia, 2020).

Traits often associated with the “Karen” stereotype include:

• Entitlement: A sense of deserving special treatment or privileges (Campbell et al., 2004).
• Narcissism: Excessive self-focus and lack of empathy for others (Twenge & Campbell, 2009).
• Authoritarianism: Preference for order and control, often leading to demanding behaviour (Altemeyer, 1996).

To help determine whether you exhibit behaviours associated with the “Karen” stereotype, consider the following questions based on psychological principles of entitlement, empathy, and social behaviour. Rate each question on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree):

1. Entitlement
   • I believe I deserve special treatment.
   • I get frustrated when things don’t go my way.
   • I often feel that rules don’t apply to me.

1. Empathy
   • I don’t consider how my actions affect others.
   • I don’t find it easy to understand other people’s feelings.
   • I don’t listen to and value other people’s opinions.

1. Demanding Behaviour
   • I frequently ask to speak to a manager or authority figure to resolve minor issues.
   • I get irritated easily when service doesn’t meet my expectations.
   • I often feel that others are not doing their job properly.

• Scores of 12-20: You may exhibit some “Karen” behaviours. Reflect on these tendencies and consider areas for improvement.
• Scores of 21-30: You exhibit moderate “Karen” behaviours. It’s important to work on empathy and understanding.
• Scores above 30: You exhibit strong “Karen” behaviours. Significant changes may be needed to improve your social interactions.

Self-awareness is key to recognising and changing entitled or demanding behaviours. Mindfulness practices can enhance self-awareness by helping individuals observe their thoughts and actions without judgement (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

• Actionable Tip: Practice mindfulness meditation regularly to increase self-awareness and reduce impulsive reactions.

Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others. Developing empathy can reduce entitled behaviours and improve social interactions (Davis, 1983).

• Actionable Tip: Engage in active listening, where you fully concentrate, understand, respond, and then remember what the other person has said.

Recognising one’s own social privileges can foster humility and reduce entitled behaviour. Reflect on how your background and circumstances have provided advantages that others may not have (McIntosh, 1988).

• Actionable Tip: Consider participating in workshops or reading materials on social justice and privilege.

Gratitude can counteract feelings of entitlement by shifting focus from what you lack to what you have (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

• Actionable Tip: Keep a gratitude journal where you regularly write down things you are thankful for.

Feedback from others can provide valuable insights into how your behaviour is perceived. Trusted friends, family, or colleagues can offer perspectives that help you adjust your actions (London, 2003).

• Actionable Tip: Ask for honest feedback from people you trust and be open to their suggestions for improvement.

Understanding and addressing “Karen” behaviours involves self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to change. By reflecting on your actions, considering others’ perspectives, and practising gratitude, you can improve your social interactions and avoid the negative traits associated with this stereotype. Cultivating these qualities not only enhances personal growth but also contributes to a more empathetic and inclusive society.

• Altemeyer, B. (1996). The Authoritarian Specter. Harvard University Press.
• Campbell, W. K., Bonacci, A. M., Shelton, J., Exline, J. J., & Bushman, B. J. (2004). Psychological entitlement: Interpersonal consequences and validation of a self-report measure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 83(1), 29-45.
• Davis, M. H. (1983). Measuring individual differences in empathy: Evidence for a multidimensional approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 44(1), 113-126.
• Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.
• Garcia, S. E. (2020). How ‘Karen’ became a meme, and what real-life ‘Karens’ think about it. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com
• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.
• London, M. (2003). Job Feedback: Giving, Seeking, and Using Feedback for Performance Improvement. Psychology Press.
• McIntosh, P. (1988). White privilege: Unpacking the invisible knapsack. Race, Class, and Gender in the United States: An Integrated Study, 4, 165-169.
• Stern, R. (2007). The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life. Morgan Road Books.
• Twenge, J. M., & Campbell, W. K. (2009). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Simon and Schuster.

How to get in touch

If you or your patient/NDIS clients need immediate mental healthcare assistance, feel free to get in contact with us on 1800 NEAR ME – admin@therapynearme.com.au.