Reward systems are a popular parenting strategy, aiming to reinforce positive behaviours and foster motivation in children (Skinner 1953). Whether in the form of praise, tangible rewards, or privileges, rewarding has been widely studied in developmental psychology for its potential to shape children’s attitudes, habits, and self-esteem (Henderlong & Lepper 2002). This article explores the functions of rewarding children, the impact of different reward types, and evidence-based methods to ensure a healthy balance between encouragement and overreliance on external incentives.
Keywords: Rewarding children, Positive reinforcement, Intrinsic motivation, Praise and recognition, Behavioural psychology, Parenting strategies
1. The Role of Rewards in Child Development
1.1 Definitions and Theory
In behavioural psychology, positive reinforcement refers to introducing a pleasant or desired stimulus following a behaviour, thereby increasing the likelihood of that behaviour recurring (Skinner 1953). When parents or teachers praise a child for tidying up or completing homework, the child associates that action with positive feedback, potentially enhancing compliance and cooperation (Schunk 2012).
1.2 Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation
- Intrinsic Motivation: Engaging in activities for inherent enjoyment or personal fulfilment.
- Extrinsic Motivation: Behaving to earn external rewards or avoid punishment.
While extrinsic rewards can boost initial compliance, a heavy focus on tangible incentives may undermine a child’s intrinsic interest over time (Deci, Koestner & Ryan 1999). Balancing extrinsic and intrinsic motivators can be a nuanced task for parents wanting to maintain children’s natural curiosity and sense of autonomy.
2. Types of Rewards and Their Implications
2.1 Social Rewards (Praise and Recognition)
Research shows that social rewards—such as verbal praise, hugs, or shared positive moments—often yield more sustainable behaviour change than material incentives (Kamins & Dweck 1999). Specifically, process-focused praise (“You worked so carefully on that puzzle!”) fosters a growth mindset and resilience, as opposed to person-focused praise (“You’re so smart!”), which may inadvertently promote performance anxiety (Dweck 2006).
2.2 Tangible Rewards (Stickers, Treats, Money)
Stickers, small toys, or pocket money are common tangible rewards, particularly for younger children (Schunk 2012). They can be effective for short-term goals—like toilet training or establishing new routines—and help children gauge progress in a visible, concrete way. However, overuse might shift motivation away from personal satisfaction to a continuous expectation of material gain (Deci et al. 1999).
2.3 Privileges and Experiences
Rewarding children with experiences—such as extra screen time, special outings, or a choice in family activities—can combine extrinsic motivators with relational bonds (Australian Institute of Family Studies [AIFS] 2023). By involving the child in decision-making (e.g., letting them choose the weekend activity), parents encourage responsibility and mutual respect.
3. Balancing Rewards and Long-Term Growth
3.1 Risks of Over-Reliance on External Incentives
Excessive or poorly timed rewards can inadvertently erode intrinsic interest (Deci et al. 1999). Children may start performing tasks primarily for a promised treat, losing sight of the intrinsic satisfaction of the activity itself. Additionally, if rewards are revoked or inconsistent, children might become disillusioned or resentful (Henderlong & Lepper 2002).
3.2 Reinforcing Growth Mindset
Acknowledging effort, persistence, and creative problem-solving fosters a “growth mindset,” where children view challenges as learning opportunities rather than threats (Dweck 2006). Encouragement and praise should emphasise the child’s strategy and effort:
- Effort-Praise: “You worked really hard reading that chapter.”
- Strategy-Praise: “I noticed how you broke the problem into steps—great thinking!”
This approach steers children toward resilience and self-reflection, crucial skills for future academic and personal pursuits (Kamins & Dweck 1999).
3.3 Consistency and Predictability
Reward systems are more effective when children understand the criteria and see consistent follow-through (AIFS 2023). If a parent promises a star on a chart for every chore completed, consistently delivering that star—and praising the effort—reinforces the link between action and reward. Mixed messages or sporadic reinforcement can confuse children, undercutting the reward’s efficacy (Schunk 2012).
4. Practical Strategies for Effective Reward Systems
4.1 Tailoring Rewards to Age and Interests
Younger children might appreciate stickers or tokens for completing simple tasks (like brushing teeth independently), while older children may benefit from privileges or additional autonomy (e.g., staying up later to read) (AIFS 2023). Identifying each child’s unique motivations—art supplies for a budding artist, or soccer gear for a sports enthusiast—can enhance engagement.
4.2 Combining Rewards with Responsibility
A child’s sense of ownership and competence grows when they connect privileges with fulfilling responsibilities. For instance, awarding extra screen time for finishing homework or household chores fosters accountability (Dweck 2006). This approach situates rewards as a natural extension of meeting duties rather than arbitrary enticements.
4.3 Setting Clear Goals and Timeframes
Breaking tasks into measurable steps—such as reading for 15 minutes daily or practising an instrument for 20 minutes—creates small, achievable targets. As children see their incremental successes, they gain confidence (Kamins & Dweck 1999). Parents should review these goals periodically, celebrating milestones along the way.
4.4 Involving Children in the Process
Inviting children to discuss the types of rewards they find meaningful can promote autonomy and buy-in (Skinner 1953). For example, brainstorming as a family about fun weekend activities as potential rewards ensures a sense of collaboration, reducing the risk of feeling coerced.
5. Beyond Rewards: Fostering Intrinsic Motivation
5.1 Encouraging Self-Evaluation
Guide children to assess their own progress before doling out praise or a reward. Asking open-ended questions—“How do you think you did?”—facilitates self-reflection and autonomy (Henderlong & Lepper 2002). Over time, children may take pride in personal mastery rather than external approval alone.
5.2 Cultivating Curiosity and Enjoyment
Where possible, link tasks to a child’s inherent interests and goals. If a child is fascinated by space, weaving educational activities around astronomy can spark natural engagement, rendering external rewards secondary (Deci et al. 1999). Encouraging choice—like picking which book to read—supports intrinsic motivation.
5.3 Role-Modelling and Shared Activities
Children often mirror adults’ enthusiasm and commitment. Demonstrating a positive attitude toward household tasks or learning—rather than grumbling about them—teaches children that responsibilities can be fulfilling in their own right (Grolnick & Pomerantz 2009). Co-engaging in tasks, such as cooking dinner together, can reinforce cooperation.
Conclusion
Rewarding children can be a powerful mechanism for shaping behaviour, building confidence, and reinforcing family values. Careful selection of reward types—social praise, tangible items, or privileges—coupled with consistency and a focus on effort helps maintain children’s intrinsic interest while guiding them toward desired behaviours (Dweck 2006).
However, parents and educators should remain mindful of the potential pitfalls of excessive external reward systems. Overemphasis on material or performance-based incentives can overshadow the deeper satisfaction found in mastery and learning. By blending rewards with autonomy, collaborative goal-setting, and genuine appreciation for a child’s effort, families can strike a balance that fosters well-rounded growth, self-motivation, and long-term success.
References
- Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) 2023, Positive Parenting and Raising Children, AIFS, viewed 4 February 2025, https://aifs.gov.au/.
- Deci, E.L., Koestner, R. & Ryan, R.M. 1999, ‘A Meta-Analytic Review of Experiments Examining the Effects of Extrinsic Rewards on Intrinsic Motivation’, Psychological Bulletin, vol. 125, no. 6, pp. 627–668.
- Dweck, C.S. 2006, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Random House, New York.
- Grolnick, W.S. & Pomerantz, E.M. 2009, ‘Issues and Challenges in Studying Parental Control: Toward a New Conceptualization’, Child Development Perspectives, vol. 3, no. 3, pp. 165–170.
- Henderlong, J. & Lepper, M.R. 2002, ‘The Effects of Praise on Children’s Intrinsic Motivation: A Review and Synthesis’, Psychological Bulletin, vol. 128, no. 5, pp. 774–795.
- Kamins, M.L. & Dweck, C.S. 1999, ‘Person versus Process Praise and Criticism: Implications for Contingent Self-Worth and Coping’, Developmental Psychology, vol. 35, no. 3, pp. 835–847.
- Schunk, D.H. 2012, Learning Theories: An Educational Perspective, 6th edn, Pearson, Boston.
- Skinner, B.F. 1953, Science and Human Behavior, Macmillan, New York.
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