A psychologist’s science-based guide to love, empathy and relationships when psychopathic traits are in the mix (2025)
TL;DR (evidence-based)
- What we call “love” has multiple components—intimacy, passion and commitment—and people can show some components without others (Sternberg, 1986).
- Psychopathy involves emotional (affective) empathy deficits, shallow affect and callousness, with relatively intact cognitive perspective-taking in many cases (Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013). That profile can impair warmth and compassionate connection, even if desire/attachment behaviours occur. (Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013).
- People higher on psychopathic traits tend toward avoidant/anxious romantic attachment, game-playing “ludus” love styles, uncommitted sociosexuality, and greater risk for relationship harm (Jonason & Kavanagh, 2010; Savard et al., 2015-2024; meta-analyses and reviews).
Bottom line: Individuals high in psychopathic traits can experience desire, excitement, and even forms of attachment, but the capacity for empathic, mutual, stable love is often compromised, especially the intimacy/commitment components.
What do we mean by “love”?
Psychology treats love as a multicomponent construct. In Sternberg’s Triangular Theory (1986), love combines intimacy (emotional closeness), passion (arousal/desire), and commitment (the decision to maintain the bond). Different mixes create different love styles (e.g., romantic love, companionate love). This matters because someone might show passion (wanting, possessiveness) without intimacy (empathy, mutual care) or commitment. (Sternberg, 1986).
What is psychopathy—and why does empathy matter for love?
Contemporary models define psychopathy as a constellation of boldness, meanness (callousness) and disinhibition (impulsivity) (the Triarchic Model; Patrick, Fowles & Krueger, 2009).
A large body of cognitive-neuroscience work shows that psychopathy features deficits in affective (emotional) empathy, including reduced reactivity to others’ fear/distress and difficulties recognizing these emotions—functions linked to amygdala-mediated systems (Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013; scoping updates). These individuals may still reason about minds (cognitive empathy/Theory-of-Mind), which can be used instrumentally. (Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013; Chevallier-style reviews).
Why this matters: Intimacy and compassion in love rely on sharing and responding to a partner’s feelings. Affective empathy deficits can therefore blunt the warmth and mutual care that sustain love, even when passion or pursuit are present.
Can a psychopath love? A component-by-component view
1) Intimacy (emotional closeness)
Research links psychopathic traits with insecure romantic attachment—especially avoidance (discomfort with closeness) and, in some profiles, anxiety (cling/anger cycles). Findings appear in community, couples and treatment-seeking samples (e.g., actor-partner effects; primary vs secondary psychopathy). (Blanchard et al., 2016; Séguin/Christian & Sellbom lines; dyadic studies).
Recent work shows emotion dysregulation partly mediates the psychopathy–attachment link (Spagnuolo et al., 2024).
Implication: Intimacy is the most compromised component—trust, vulnerability and mutual care are hard to sustain when attachment is avoidant and affective empathy is low.
2) Passion (desire/attraction)
Across studies, psychopathic traits correlate with unrestricted sociosexuality (openness to uncommitted sex), short-term mating strategies, and lower sexual disgust—especially in men (Jonason et al., 2009; Jauk et al., 2020; 2024 meta-analysis).
Implication: Passion can be strong and frequent, but often decoupled from bonding or care.
3) Commitment (decision to maintain the bond)
Dark-triad research links psychopathy to game-playing love (ludus) and higher infidelity intentions, especially in casual contexts (Jonason & Kavanagh, 2010; Brewer et al., 2018).
Implication: Commitment is fragile; where present, it may be instrumental/conditional rather than mutual and enduring.
Primary vs secondary psychopathy: Does subtype matter?
- Primary psychopathy (low anxiety, affective callousness) is more strongly tied to avoidant attachment and low empathy.
- Secondary psychopathy (high negative affect, impulsivity) shows more anxious attachment and emotion-regulation problems—relationships can be intense but unstable. (Kyranides & Neofytou, 2025; Spagnuolo et al., 2024; meta-analytic indications).
Take-home: Both subtypes challenge intimacy/commitment, but for different reasons (cold detachment vs. dysregulated intensity).
Do people with psychopathic traits harm partners?
Unfortunately, yes—on average risk is elevated. Reviews show psychopathic traits are a proximal risk factor for intimate partner violence (IPV) and coercive control; survivor studies document PTSD/depression among partners (Robertson et al., 2019; Forth et al.; Aggression & Violent Behavior/Intimate Partner Violence reviews).
Safety note: If you are experiencing threats, control, or violence, seek local crisis services immediately.
So…can a psychopath love?
It depends on how we define “love.” Many individuals high in psychopathic traits can experience sexual/romantic desire and pursuit (passion) and may display attachment behaviours (e.g., possessiveness, jealousy). But the empathic, caring, mutually regulating intimacy that underpins healthy, sustained love is often limited—and commitment is more likely to be situational or self-serving. (Sternberg, 1986; Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013; Jonason & Kavanagh, 2010).
What partners often experience (research-informed)
- Hot–cold cycles: intense pursuit, then distancing—consistent with avoidant/anxious attachment patterns.
- Game-playing love styles and boundary-testing (ludus).
- Low remorse/empathy in conflicts; apologies feel performative. (Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013).
- Higher risk of psychological or physical IPV in elevated-trait cases.
Clinical outlook: Is change possible?
Psychopathy is heterogeneous. Some elements (e.g., disinhibition) respond to skills-based interventions; meanness/callousness is harder to shift. Treatment frameworks increasingly tailor interventions to triarchic domains (Patrick et al., 2012). Couple safety and individual therapy should be prioritised where risk is present.
If you think you’re in a relationship with someone high in psychopathic traits
- Name the pattern, not the label: focus on behaviours (manipulation, lack of empathy, coercion).
- Create boundaries (non-negotiables around money, privacy, time).
- Track your wellbeing (mood, anxiety, sleep); deteriorations signal harm.
- Have a safety plan if there is control or violence (reach out to local IPV services). (Systematic reviews on psychological violence & mental health).
FAQ
Is a psychopath capable of love?
They may experience desire and attachment behaviours, but affective empathy deficits undermine mutual intimacy and stable commitment for many. (Blair, 2005; Marsh, 2013; Sternberg, 1986).
Why do some relationships feel intense with a psychopathic partner?
Traits linked to passion (sensation-seeking, dominance) are common; research also shows unrestricted sociosexuality and game-playing love styles. Intensity ≠ intimacy. (Jonason et al., 2009; Jonason & Kavanagh, 2010; 2024 meta-analysis).
Are there differences between primary and secondary psychopathy in love?
Yes—primary tends to be colder/avoidant; secondary more anxious/volatile due to emotion-regulation problems. Both strain intimacy/commitment. (Kyranides & Neofytou, 2025; Spagnuolo et al., 2024).
Can therapy help?
Some behavioural risk can be reduced, but core callousness is difficult to change. Prioritise safety and boundaries; seek specialist input. (Patrick et al., 2012 review).
References
- Blair, R.J.R. (2005) ‘Responding to the emotions of others: Dissociating forms of empathy in psychopathy’, Neurocase, 11, pp. 13–23. ScienceDirect
- Blanchard, A. et al. (2016) ‘Sex differences between primary and secondary psychopathy, parental bonding and adult attachment’, Journal of Psychology, preprint PDF. irep.ntu.ac.uk
- Jonason, P.K., Li, N.P., Webster, G.D. & Schmitt, D.P. (2009) ‘The Dark Triad: Facilitating a short-term mating strategy in men’, European Journal of Personality, 23, pp. 5–18. mysmu.edu
- Jonason, P.K. & Kavanagh, P.S. (2010) ‘The dark side of love: Love styles and the Dark Triad’, Personality and Individual Differences, 49(6), pp. 606–610. ScienceDirectResearchGate
- Kyranides, M.N. & Neofytou, K. (2025) ‘Primary and secondary psychopathic traits: The role of attachment and cognitive emotion regulation’, University of Edinburgh working paper. pure.ed.ac.uk
- Marsh, A.A. (2013) ‘What can we learn about emotion by studying psychopathy?’, Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7:181. Frontiers
- Patrick, C.J., Fowles, D.C. & Krueger, R.F. (2009) ‘Triarchic conceptualization of psychopathy: Developmental origins of disinhibition, boldness, and meanness’, Development and Psychopathology, 21(3), pp. 913–938. patrickcnslab.psy.fsu.edu
- Patrick, C.J. et al. (2012) ‘Conceptualizing psychopathy in triarchic terms: Implications for treatment’, International Journal of Forensic Mental Health, 11(4), pp. 253–266. SAGE Journals
- Robertson, E. et al. (2019) ‘Intimate partner violence perpetration and psychopathy: A comprehensive review’, Aggression and Violent Behavior (review PDF). ResearchGate
- Spagnuolo, F. et al. (2024) ‘Psychopathic traits and romantic attachment: The mediating role of emotion dysregulation’, Clinical Neuropsychiatry, 21, pp. 212–224. clinicalneuropsychiatry.org
- Sternberg, R.J. (1986) ‘A triangular theory of love’, Psychological Review, 93(2), pp. 119–135 (PDF). pzacad.pitzer.edu
- Turanovic, J. & Pratt, T. (2019) ‘The psychological subtype of intimate partner violence and its effect on mental health: A systematic review and meta-analysis’, Systematic Reviews, 8, 185. BioMed Central
- Uzieblo, K. et al. (2014) ‘Subclinical psychopathic traits and romantic attachment in community couples’, Personality and Individual Differences, 66, pp. 83–88. ScienceDirect
- van Hiel, A. et al. (2020) ‘On being “dark” and promiscuous: Dark Triad, mate value and sexual disgust’, Personality and Individual Differences, 163, 110069. ScienceDirect
- Wang, Z. et al. (2024) ‘Psychopathy and sociosexual orientation: A meta-analysis’, Personality and Individual Differences, in press. ScienceDirect
General information only; not a substitute for personalised diagnosis or safety advice. If you feel unsafe in a relationship, contact local emergency services or an IPV support line immediately.
