Written by: Therapy Near Me Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by: qualified members of the Therapy Near Me clinical team

Last updated: 05/07/2025

This article is intended as general information only and does not replace personalised medical or mental health advice. Learn more about our Editorial Policy.

Parenthood is often idealised as a rewarding and fulfilling experience, yet many parents occasionally experience negative feelings towards their children, ranging from frustration to resentment. These emotions can provoke guilt and shame, leading parents to question their love or capability. This article explores the psychological causes of these feelings, the importance of addressing parental burnout, and strategies for improving the parent-child relationship.

Keywords: Parenting guilt, Parental burnout, Negative feelings toward children, Support for overwhelmed parents, Managing parental stress, Parent-child relationship improvement

Negative feelings towards children often stem from parental burnout, a condition characterised by physical and emotional exhaustion due to prolonged stress related to parenting. Burnout can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and emotional withdrawal from children (Mikolajczak et al. 2018). Factors contributing to burnout include lack of support, overwhelming responsibilities, and unrealistic societal expectations of parenthood.

Research by Roskam et al. (2017) highlights that parental burnout is a growing concern, particularly in families where parents feel unsupported or isolated. The exhaustion of meeting both personal and parenting demands can cause negative feelings toward children, but this does not mean that the parent genuinely “hates” their child. Rather, it indicates a need for self-care and support.

Many parents who experience negative emotions toward their children also struggle with intense guilt and shame. According to Cummings and Davies (2010), these feelings are often exacerbated by societal pressures that depict parenthood as a constant source of joy and purpose. When parents don’t meet these expectations, they may internalise these emotions and fear they are failing in their role.

However, experiencing occasional frustration or resentment is normal, especially in demanding situations such as dealing with temper tantrums, sibling rivalry, or behavioural issues. It’s essential for parents to recognise that these emotions do not equate to being a “bad parent” but rather reflect the stresses of caregiving.

Several factors contribute to the negative feelings parents may experience:

1. Lack of Support
   Parents who lack a strong support system often feel isolated, which can heighten feel ings of frustration. Without help from partners, family, or community networks, parents may feel overwhelmed by the day-to-day demands of caregiving (Mikolajczak et al. 2018).
2. Unrealistic Expectations
   Cultural and social expectations that idealise parenthood can create pressure to maintain a perfect family life. When reality falls short of these expectations, parents may feel inadequate, leading to resentment toward both themselves and their children (Cummings & Davies 2010).
3. Child Behavioural Challenges
   Children with behavioural challenges, such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or autism, can create additional stress for parents. Managing these behaviours often requires additional emotional resources, which can lead to feelings of helplessness and anger (Barkley 2014).

Addressing negative feelings toward children begins with self-awareness and self-compassion. Parents need to recognise that their feelings are valid and a normal response to stress. Several strategies can help:

1. Practicing Self-Care
Research shows that parents who prioritise their own well-being are more emotionally equipped to manage the challenges of parenting (Roskam et al. 2017). Simple self-care practices, such as regular breaks, exercise, and social interaction, can reduce stress levels and improve mood.

2. Seeking Professional Support
Counselling or therapy can help parents process their emotions, understand the root causes of their frustration, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one effective approach that can help parents reframe negative thoughts and manage stress (Barkley 2014).

3. Building a Support Network
Connecting with other parents or joining parenting groups can provide emotional support and practical advice. Having a community to share the highs and lows of parenting can reduce feelings of isolation and guilt (Mikolajczak et al. 2018).

Improving the parent-child relationship after experiencing negative emotions involves rebuilding trust and fostering positive interactions. Positive parenting strategies, such as setting realistic expectations, using praise and encouragement, and practising patience, can help strengthen the bond between parent and child (Cummings & Davies 2010).

It’s also crucial to maintain open communication with children. Parents can explain their feelings (in an age-appropriate way), apologise if necessary, and involve children in finding solutions to recurring conflicts. This teaches children important emotional regulation skills and models conflict resolution (Barkley 2014).

Negative feelings toward children are a natural response to the pressures and challenges of parenting. Rather than being an indication of failure, these emotions highlight the need for self-care, support, and realistic expectations. By acknowledging these feelings, seeking help, and using positive parenting strategies, parents can reduce their frustration and build stronger, healthier relationships with their children.

• Barkley, RA 2014, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Handbook for Diagnosis and Treatment, 4th edn, Guilford Press, New York.
• Cummings, EM & Davies, PT 2010, Marital Conflict and Children: An Emotional Security Perspective, Guilford Press, New York.
• Mikolajczak, M, Raes, M-E, Avalosse, H & Roskam, I 2018, ‘Exhausted parents: Socio-demographic, child-related, parent-related, parenting and family-functioning correlates of parental burnout’, Journal of Child and Family Studies, vol. 27, no. 2, pp. 602-614.
• Roskam, I, Raes, ME & Mikolajczak, M 2017, ‘Exhausted parents: Development and preliminary validation of the parental burnout inventory’, Frontiers in Psychology, vol. 8, no. 1, pp. 1-12.

How to get in touch

If you or your NDIS participant need immediate mental healthcare assistance, feel free to get in contact with us on 1800 NEAR ME – admin@therapynearme.com.au.