Written by: Therapy Near Me Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by: qualified members of the Therapy Near Me clinical team

Last updated: 20/08/2025

This article is intended as general information only and does not replace personalised medical or mental health advice. Learn more about our Editorial Policy.

Realising that you might be used or taken advantage of by someone can be a distressing experience. Whether it’s in a personal relationship, at work, or within a friendship, the signs can sometimes be subtle and the emotional impact significant. Understanding the psychological dynamics behind these behaviors and knowing how to respond can help protect your well-being. This article provides insights from psychologists on recognising the signs of being used and offers advice on how to address this situation.

1. Imbalance in Effort: You consistently put more into the relationship than the other person does. This could be in terms of time, resources, or emotional support.
2. Lack of Reciprocity: Your needs and concerns are routinely ignored, and the relationship seems to revolve around the needs and desires of the other person.
3. Feelings of Guilt and Obligation: The other person often manipulates you by inducing feelings of guilt or obligation to get what they want.
4. Disregard for Your Boundaries: Your boundaries are not respected. The other person may frequently overstep limits you’ve set, showing a lack of consideration for your comfort and privacy.
5. Emotional Drain: Interactions leave you feeling emotionally drained rather than uplifted.

From a psychological viewpoint, relationships where one party is being used often involve manipulation and emotional exploitation. According to Braiker (2003), manipulative relationships can lead to significant emotional distress for the victim. Manipulators often use tactics such as guilt, shame, and intimidation to control their victims, which can lead to a decrease in the victim’s self-esteem and self-worth.

Identifying who might be likely to take advantage of you can protect your emotional well-being and foster healthier relationships. Psychological research has provided insights into the traits and behaviours of individuals who are more prone to exploiting others.

1. Narcissistic Traits: Individuals with narcissistic personality traits often feel a heightened sense of entitlement and exhibit a manipulative nature. They may use others to achieve their own goals without regard for the other person’s feelings or consequences. Research indicates that narcissists tend to exploit those who are empathetic and accommodating.
2. Machiavellianism: This term describes people who view manipulation of others as an acceptable form of social influence. They are strategic in their relationships, using cunning and deceit to gain trust before exploiting it for personal gain.
3. Psychopathy: Psychopaths lack empathy and may often engage in antisocial behaviours, including lying, aggressive acts, and using charm to manipulate others. They are particularly dangerous as their actions are often calculated and devoid of emotional consideration.
4. Prior History of Manipulative Behaviors: Individuals who have a history of using others, lying, or engaging in deceitful behaviors are more likely to do so again. Past behavior is a reliable predictor of future behavior in contexts of manipulation.

In life, we navigate a complex web of relationships, including those with family, friends, and colleagues. Each of these relationships carries its own set of dynamics, some of which may predispose them to exploitation. Understanding which types of relationships are more likely to involve exploitation can help individuals protect themselves from being taken advantage of.

Exploitation within family relationships can often go unnoticed or unchallenged due to strong emotional bonds and a sense of obligation. Family members might exploit one another for money, emotional support, or resources under the guise of familial duty. Research by Stieger et al. (2016) suggests that those with a history of family dysfunction or manipulative behaviors during childhood are more susceptible to exploitation within family relationships in adulthood.

Friendships are built on trust and mutual respect, but they can also be grounds for exploitation, particularly when one party is more emotionally invested than the other. Manipulative individuals may take advantage of their friends’ goodwill through guilt, indebtedness, or the uneven exchange of favors and emotional support. Psychologists like Braiker (2003) have identified that people with high empathy and low assertiveness are particularly vulnerable to such exploitation.

The workplace is a common setting for exploitation, often manifesting through power dynamics and hierarchical structures. Superiors may exploit their authority by overloading certain employees with work without appropriate compensation or acknowledgment, or by using their influence to coerce employees into uncomfortable roles or tasks. A study by Tepper (2007) discusses how abusive supervision can lead to workplace exploitation, affecting employees’ mental health and job satisfaction.

Romantic relationships can also be exploitative, particularly when one partner uses manipulation or control as a means to benefit at the other’s expense. This can include financial exploitation, emotional manipulation, or using the partner’s feelings to control their actions. Researchers like Katz et al. (2010) have examined how dependency and low self-esteem can make individuals vulnerable to exploitation in romantic relationships.

1. Recognise the Signs: Awareness is the first step to change. Acknowledge the patterns of behavior that suggest you are being used.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to the other person. Be specific about what is not acceptable and the consequences if those boundaries are not respected.
3. Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a professional who can provide an outside perspective and emotional support.
4. Assert Yourself: Be assertive about your needs and rights. You do not need to act aggressively but being firm and clear is crucial.
5. Reevaluate the Relationship: Consider whether the relationship is worth maintaining. Relationships should be mutually beneficial, supportive, and respectful.
6. Professional Help: Engaging with a psychologist or counselor can provide strategies to deal with manipulation and can help strengthen your self-esteem and assertiveness.

If you find yourself feeling used or taken advantage of, it’s important to take steps to address the situation. Setting boundaries, seeking support, and possibly reevaluating your relationships are essential steps. Remember, maintaining a healthy relationship, whether personal or professional, should involve respect and reciprocity. Taking action not only protects your emotional and psychological health but also empowers you to cultivate more positive and supportive relationships in the future.

• Braiker, H.B. (2003). Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break The Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life. Amacom.
• Horton, R. S., Bleau, G., & Drwecki, B. (2006). Parenting narcissus: What are the links between parenting and narcissism? Journal of Personality, 74(2), 345-376.
• Christie, R., & Geis, F. L. (1970). Studies in Machiavellianism. Academic Press.
• Hare, R. D. (1999). Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us. Guilford Press.
• Jones, D. N., & Paulhus, D. L. (2011). The role of impulsivity in the Dark Triad of personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 51(5), 679-682.
• Stieger, S., Preyss, A., & Voracek, M. (2016). Financial exploitation predicts exploitation under resource scarcity in the sibling relationship. Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences, 10(2), 147-155.
• Braiker, H.B. (2003). Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break The Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life. Amacom.
• Tepper, B.J. (2007). Abusive supervision in work organizations: Review, synthesis, and research agenda. Journal of Management, 33(3), 261-289.
• Katz, J., Arias, I., Beach, S.R.H., Brody, G., & Roman, P. (2010). Excuses, excuses: Rationalizations and explanations for intimate partner aggression. Journal of Family Violence, 25(6), 623-634.

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