Introduction
Marriage has traditionally been seen as both a romantic and an economic partnership. In modern societies, the question of marrying for money remains controversial. While financial stability is a valid consideration in choosing a life partner, research shows that marriages primarily motivated by money can face unique psychological and relational challenges (Amato, 2010). This article examines the psychology of marrying for money, cultural perspectives, mental health impacts, and strategies for building healthier, more balanced relationships.
1. Historical and cultural perspectives
Marriage as an economic arrangement
Historically, marriage was often based on property, inheritance, and family alliances rather than love (Coontz, 2005). In many cultures, financial and social status remain highly influential in marital choices.
Modern attitudes
In Western societies, romantic love is the dominant reason for marriage, but financial considerations continue to play an important role. Surveys show that financial stability is a top predictor of marital satisfaction (Dew, 2009).
Cross-cultural differences
- In collectivist cultures, marriage may still be seen as a family or economic contract (Kalmijn, 1998).
- In individualist societies, marrying for money is more likely to be stigmatised, linked with opportunism or lack of authenticity.
2. Psychological motivations for marrying for money
Research suggests several drivers behind financially motivated marriages:
- Security needs: Financial stability reduces stress and increases perceived safety (Maslow, 1943).
- Status and social mobility: Partners may seek to elevate their socioeconomic status (Kalmijn, 1994).
- Fear of poverty: Financial strain is strongly associated with mental health problems, making wealth a powerful attraction (Butterworth et al., 2009).
- Narcissism or materialism: Individuals high in materialistic values are more likely to choose partners for financial gain (Kasser, 2002).
3. Relationship outcomes of financially motivated marriages
Satisfaction and stability
Financial security contributes positively to marital satisfaction, but marriages driven primarily by money may lack emotional intimacy, which is a core predictor of long-term stability (Amato, 2010).
Conflict
Disagreements about money are one of the strongest predictors of divorce (Dew, 2009). When money is both the foundation and point of conflict, the relationship may become strained.
Trust and authenticity
Partners who perceive money as the primary motivation for marriage often report lower trust and intimacy, leading to higher relational dissatisfaction (Rick et al., 2011).
4. Mental health implications
Anxiety and stress
Financial dependence may produce power imbalances, leading to anxiety and feelings of entrapment (Falconier & Jackson, 2020).
Self-esteem and autonomy
Those who marry for money may experience lower self-esteem if they feel valued only for financial reasons. Conversely, wealthier partners may worry about being exploited.
Risk of abuse and control
Economic dependence is a risk factor in coercive control and domestic abuse, where financial resources are used to limit autonomy (Postmus et al., 2012).
5. Healthy approaches to money in relationships
- Financial transparency: Open discussions about income, debt, and goals improve trust.
- Shared decision-making: Couples who collaborate on financial decisions report greater satisfaction (Archuleta, 2013).
- Balancing love and finance: Research suggests that combining emotional intimacy with financial security creates the healthiest outcomes.
- Therapy and education: Financial counselling and couples therapy can help prevent conflict and ensure healthier relationship dynamics.
FAQs
Q: Is it wrong to marry for money?
Not necessarily. Financial stability is an important factor in marriage, but when money is the primary motivation, research shows it may harm intimacy and trust (Rick et al., 2011).
Q: Can money buy happiness in marriage?
Money reduces financial stress, but long-term happiness depends more on emotional intimacy and shared values (Amato, 2010).
Q: Do financially motivated marriages last?
Some do, but research shows that money conflicts predict divorce, especially when emotional closeness is lacking (Dew, 2009).
Q: How can couples prevent money from harming their relationship?
By practising financial transparency, shared decision-making, and prioritising emotional connection (Archuleta, 2013).
References
- Amato, P.R. (2010) ‘Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments’, Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), pp. 650–666.
- Archuleta, K.L. (2013) ‘Couple financial therapy: A new treatment approach for financial stress’, Journal of Financial Therapy, 4(1), pp. 1–20.
- Butterworth, P., Olesen, S.C. & Leach, L.S. (2009) ‘The role of financial hardship in mental health outcomes among Australian families’, Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 43(9), pp. 795–803.
- Coontz, S. (2005) Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage. New York: Viking.
- Dew, J. (2009) ‘Bank on it: Thrifty couples are the happiest’, Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 30(4), pp. 302–314.
- Falconier, M.K. & Jackson, J.B. (2020) ‘Economic strain and couple relationships: A meta-analysis’, Journal of Family Psychology, 34(5), pp. 553–565.
- Glass, S.P. (2003) Not “Just Friends”: Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal. New York: Free Press.
- Kalmijn, M. (1994) ‘Assortative mating by cultural and economic occupational status’, American Journal of Sociology, 100(2), pp. 422–452.
- Kalmijn, M. (1998) ‘Intermarriage and homogamy: Causes, patterns, trends’, Annual Review of Sociology, 24, pp. 395–421.
- Kasser, T. (2002) The High Price of Materialism. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
- Maslow, A.H. (1943) ‘A theory of human motivation’, Psychological Review, 50(4), pp. 370–396.
- Postmus, J.L., Plummer, S.B., McMahon, S. & Zurlo, K.A. (2012) ‘Financial abuse in domestic violence: An overlooked form of abuse’, Journal of Family Violence, 27(5), pp. 411–420.
- Rick, S.I., Small, D.A. & Finkel, E.J. (2011) ‘Fatal (fiscal) attraction: Spendthrift–tightwad couples and romantic relationships’, Journal of Marketing Research, 48(SPL), pp. S228–S237.
