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The concept of men being attracted to ‘good girls’—women who exhibit kindness, agreeableness, and nurturing qualities—has been a subject of interest in psychological and evolutionary studies. This article explores the underlying factors contributing to this preference, drawing on scientific research and theories.

Keywords: Why men like good girls, Attraction to good girls psychology, Evolutionary psychology and attraction, Men’s preferences in relationships, Kindness and attractiveness, Agreeableness in mate selection, Good girl archetype, Cultural influences on attraction, Attachment theory and relationships, Men’s attraction to nurturing traits

From an evolutionary standpoint, men may prefer partners who display nurturing and prosocial behaviours, as these traits are indicative of effective parenting and the ability to foster a stable family environment. Parental investment theory suggests that men seek mates who can contribute to the upbringing of offspring, ensuring the survival and propagation of their genes (Trivers, 1972). Women who exhibit kindness and nurturing behaviours are perceived as more capable of providing the necessary care for children, making them attractive partners in the context of long-term relationships.

Personality traits play a significant role in mate selection. Research indicates that men value agreeableness and emotional stability in potential partners, as these traits contribute to harmonious and enduring relationships (Botwin, Buss, & Shackelford, 1997). Agreeableness, encompassing attributes such as kindness and warmth, facilitates cooperation and reduces conflict, which are essential for relationship satisfaction and longevity.

Kindness significantly enhances physical attractiveness. A study involving over 4,000 participants found that individuals described as kind and helpful were consistently rated as more physically attractive compared to those described as merely funny or intelligent (Kononov et al., 2024). This suggests that prosocial traits not only contribute to relational harmony but also elevate perceived physical appeal, reinforcing men’s preference for ‘good girls’.

Cultural narratives often idealise the ‘good girl’ archetype, associating it with virtues like purity, loyalty, and nurturing. These societal constructs shape individual preferences, leading men to seek partners who embody these culturally endorsed qualities. Media representations and traditional gender roles further perpetuate this ideal, influencing men’s attraction to women who align with the ‘good girl’ persona.

Attachment theory posits that individuals with secure attachment styles are more likely to form stable and satisfying relationships. Men with secure attachment tendencies may be drawn to ‘good girls’ who exhibit reliability and emotional availability, as these traits align with their expectations for a dependable partnership (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). Conversely, men with insecure attachment styles might seek partners who fulfill their specific emotional needs, which can also influence their attraction patterns.

Men’s attraction to ‘good girls’ is multifaceted, encompassing evolutionary imperatives, personality dynamics, cultural influences, and individual attachment styles. Understanding these factors provides insight into mate selection processes and highlights the importance of prosocial traits in fostering healthy and enduring relationships.

• Botwin, M. D., Buss, D. M., & Shackelford, T. K. (1997). Personality and mate preferences: Five factors in mate selection and marital satisfaction. Journal of Personality, 65(1), 107-136.
• Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualised as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511-524.
• Kononov, N., et al. (2024). Kindness increases attractiveness: Evidence from ten experiments. British Journal of Social Psychology. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/kind-people-are-more-physically-attractive-study-finds-9dwq3nbh6
• Trivers, R. L. (1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. Campbell (Ed.), Sexual Selection and the Descent of Man (pp. 136-179). Chicago, IL: Aldine.

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